Monday, June 29, 2009
{ 1:25 AM }
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...
People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...
Before you judge me,
try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had
Have you seen my Childhood...
Yes, I do miss Michael Jackson. Alot. I think other than our similar initials, we do seem to have something similar :D
We both ask - have you seen our childhood?
I guess not. Hahas.
This is the one of the deepest times in which, I truly felt desolate and cold
Lonely.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
{ 12:46 AM }
I don't know who to trust. I don't know who to believe in anymore.
I may be dumb and look really retarded but...
I find it sad and disappointing to know that,
Hardly anyone would ever know what's happening to my scrwed up life.
I don't think my family deserves any of this...ridiculous problems.
I don't think any of my family member deserves to be a victim of this problem.
They've worked so f-ing hard for everything and just when everything seemed alright.
I know I can be independent. I definitely can.
I just need to find a way to remove this tugging feeling in my heart.
Of loneliness, of worrysome, of scare...
It is weird to realise how much feelings I have for the people around me. Feelings I didn't even notice before.
I just want to believe in someone. I just want to draw strength from someone.
I really want to overcome this alone. And I'm gonna try. I did it before and I can do it again.
God, please help my family. Please help me.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
{ 9:18 PM }
AHAHA i promised u guys pictures eh XD?
Pic 1-3: RANDOM
Pic 4-14: 3D`09 CHALET
Pic 15: RANDOM
HEY REYNOLD o.o!!! U PRODUCED FOIL WTF o.o
YEEYING AND ME. ME AND YEEYING. WEE.
Jojo meditating o.o
3 crazy orange monkeys. All chiong to the top =.=
One blue lonely monkey o.o staring into a distance wee.
AHAHA DONT THINK SICK XD This jelly icecream IS THE BEST OK XD!!
3D`09 I LOVE YOU :D
WE LOVE MARILYN, MANJING and YEEYING :D
Cannot make star, so make triangle lor =.=
EATING YUM YUMYUM :D
Random lol. Dave is diaoded.
TAITI. BRIDGE. STRESS. BLACKJACK. YAYS.
3D`09 CHALET woots :D
Swimming pool looks shuang hor o.o AHAHA. dipped our feet inside :D
TELL YOU, this kind of BBQ fire is the most ZAI i've ever seen in my LIFE. done by my sis de bf de papa. NO ONE CAN WIN ONE. is zai until wtf lols. THE CHARCOAL'S GLOWING WITH HEAT LA, which is 1000 more hot than just wild flame. We suck man, we suck =.=
Aiya lazy tag la. go facebook can see more pic lols.
byebye :D tmr got choir wee.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
{ 7:33 PM }
I woke up at 3 pm today wtf lols.
Cuz right after chalet on the next day, i got CCA zzz.
DAMN TIRED I TELL YOU, i warm up halfway going to sleep LOLSS~~~
finally get back all my lost sleep today T.T sooooo tired ahhhhh =.=
BBQ was quite fun :D the food is abit over-ordered =.= sooo much until we cant finish lols.
Den chalet throughout is just mahjong-ing and taiti-ing and stress-ing and bridge-ing and blackjack-ing and .....
frankly, it was abit sian, but still fun :D
I'M SHOCKED TO KNOW THAT I CAN DON'T SLEEP FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT LOLS.
ok la i got sleep, for 3 mins =.=
in fact, i stayed awake for 1and3/4 days :D
wahehehehehehe :D
We watched midnight movies at around 12 midnight lols,
Isaac, samuel, jacq, val, marilyn and danielle watched Ghosts of girlfriend pasts while me, keith, george, yonghong, annabella and johnlee watched DRAG ME TO HELL AHHEHEHEHEH XD!!
Louis and dave stayed in the chalet cuz they sleeping LOLS
DRAG ME TO HELL IS MORE OF A COMEDY THAN HORROR LA LOLS~~~~
was laughing throughout the whole cinema, like super wth cuz THE WOMAN KEEP VOMITING ON THAT GIRL LEH =.=
ok first time vomit i was super horrified and disgusted, den suddenly the scene keep repeating, just that the vomits changes colour =.=
and im like -.- okay. right.
then the old woman keep appear randomly and RAWR!!!
den i was like WTF LOLSSSS!!!!!
wah this scene the funniest, when the demon went into that guy who is supposed to kill the goat, (for ppl who dont understand, den go watch it)
he floated up and started dancing weirdly with that chikopek face,
SUPER FUNNY SIA, im like "WTH R U DOING LOLSSSS"
wah best sia LOLLLSSLSLSS AHAHAHAHAHHA XD
practically everyone were a little bit scared except for me and keith o.o
yes i know, GEORGE IS SCARED LOLS!!!
he keep covering his eyes with his hat and hugged valerie's lollipop toy LOLS.
then got one ah beng beside me oso DAMN SCARED lols.
LOLS EH i didnt know singaporeans so scared of ghost movies sia =.=
esp those ah lians and ah bengs, SUPPOSE TO BE VERY BRAVE ONE RIGHT? MACHO RIGHT?
wakao, go inside cinema scared like no mother liddat LOLSSS!!
At first he act cool, den when movie start, wah the little mouse inside him just came out =.=
was keep turning away from the scene and covering his eyes lols.
i was like O.O shocked =.= seriously, abit diaoded.
AHBENG MUST HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF KICK RIGHT??!!
hum like dunno wad =.= boooooo!!!!!~~~
then after chalet we went to val's house (me jacq val isaac samuel marilyn n yh)
play taiti, picking sticks (dunno whats the game called) and MONOPOLY :D
wah samuel is friggin ZAI at monopoly ok, somehow we just KEEP landing on his property and he earned alot of money =.=
den when we ally with one another, and samuel left on his own, he is MORE ZAI THAN EVER LOL.
we all lost our money to him =.= hais damn sad ahahaa.
den afterwards when everyone left, i need chiong to darren's(sister's bf) house for ANOTHER BBQ =.=
WTF I KNOW AHAHA.
his house is WOW. his room got 2 computers (imba one, everything new), one TV got aircon, got PSP and XBox.
Den we played the latest version of grand theft auto lol, M18 VERSION WAHAHA!
damn sick, got stripper club la, den can pay money to have *ahem* with the ppl there =.=
can swim in the ocean, can kill police den oso can rob police car LOL, last time de versions all dont have one lor.
very imba one, but cuz i super tired den i just slept on his bed AHAHAHA.
den we went for BBQ again with my sis and his family. seriously, their BBQ is high class one ok,
GOT STEAK GOT MUSHROOM GOT GERMAN SAUSAGE GOT VEGGIE GOT CORN GOT OLIVE OIL GOT PEPPER GOT EVERYTHING LA!!!
did i forget to tell u that he's rich o.o LOLS.
i eat until shuang you mei you XD
and his father make charcoal is the best. no one can win him one XD i dunno how he did and I DUNNO HOW TO EXPLAIN TO U BUT,
just very very pro ahaha.
IM DYING TO WATCH THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT :D
it is a horror movie la, the trailer is like so-so only, den when they flash "based on a TRUE story"
im like, "OK SET, MUST WATCH LIAO"
WAHAHAHAHAH i wan see how many ahbengs will scared XD
i think i will be scared myself too =.= cuz quite frightening to know that it DID happened lols.
in fact, i think it'll be NC16 =(
so, i went to dig up a website and i found it, so im watching it online now :D
if ur scared n still dying to watch, dont sweat it cuz just watch it on the internet =.=
internet one not scary at all compared to cinema lols.
SCARED DEN JUST QUICKLY LOWER DOWN THE VOLUME LA LOLS XD
got cinema u have the PRAY for it to end LOLS.
the SAW franchise rocks. anyone digging for final destination 4 XD?
3D somemore WEEEEEE :D all the blood splatter infront of u :D
IM SADISTIC o.o
pictures another day, promise :D
Sunday, June 7, 2009
{ 11:25 PM }
walao eh, i slept at like, 4 am ytd wtf...
cuz was busy searching for info about the songs ahschoir is preparing for the concert and compiling them, cuz my english isn't say very fantastic, considering the fact that i TOTALLY FAILED PAPER 2 WTF WTF WTF!!!!
walao eh, if i like didnt fail i would have gotten A2 =.= its like 64. SOMETHING SOMETHING.
Life sucks man.
anyways, everyone was like lamenting on how screwed the template in the choir blog is =.= BUT IT LOOKS KINDA OK TO ME.
and christopher was like saying maybe i using microsoft internet 7 so yeah....
i can't download microsoft internet 8 cuz of uhh...*ahem ahem* don't wanna kena sabo-ed lol
so i downloaded mozilla, safari, wadever sai internet u can think of,
U KNOW, I ALWAYS HAD THE MINDSET THE WHOLE WORLD IS USING ONLY MICROSOFT INTERNET EXPLORER.
only recently then i realise, "OH, GOT MORE THAN ONE AH?"
=.= wth. since when sia.
AHAHAHAH BILL GATES, GOT PPL GOING TO OWN U LOLS.
Have been busy with publicizing the choir in facebook, please dont complain of me spamming ur wall, its my job =.= face it.
OR JUST BUY THE TICKETS MUAHAHAH :D
umm, u all can contact me and i'll order for u guys, best if u go plan with ya friends so i can buy all at one time :)
have also been catching up on my dear piano WAHAHHAa. Never touch it for very long le XD
ok its a keyboard. sorry -,- currently learning magician from d-gray man.
YES I KNOW, EVERYONE'S DYING TO PLAY IT -.- my gosh this piano craze.
At first it was the crazy of RIVER FLOWS IN U BY YIRUMA RIGHT???
can people STOP PLAYING IT??!!! DO U KNOW HOW SIAN IT IS TO BE HEARING EVERYONE PLAYING THE SAME DAMN THING HA??!!! HAVE SOME CREATIVITY AND GO LEARN OTHER YIRUMA'S SONG TYS!!!
magician's a lovely song, cuz terence has been playing it like siao =.=
but the reason why everyone is playing it is cuz ITS SO EASY TO LEARN OMFG.
so i kinda dug up another song, the name of life in the VERY LONG AGO JAP CARTOON MOVIE - SPIRITED AWAY...
And I'm watching d-gray man now LOLS. because i heard the song in the anime and wah, that anime guy so shuai LOLS XD ALLEN RIGHT ahahs.
Hmm...well ASEAN + summit is over.
Honestly, im glad its over. SORRY FOR THE DAMN N2 PPL BUT,
i dont like the idea of forsaking my cca, my time with my friends n families for it.
considering the fact that:
1) I'm not as smart as the people there
2) I only sleep and slack there
3) My efforts I HAVE PUT IN seemed to be of no use
4) sometimes i feel UPSET and OUTCASTED because of different mindsets n mentalities.
Point 4 is the main thing that deters me from going to the closing dinner ceremony.
No, the people there are great i swear, and i do appreciate dunman high for creating such an enriching experience.
Enriching, but not exactly pleasant for me. Ahahas.
Look la, im missing in some photos and no one includes my name it and stuffs =.=
Call me childish, u've no idea.
I don't mind trying to FIT IN and stuff but, as of now i'm facing with much difficulties with my families and friends, and i wan to handle my post in my CCA the best i possibly could.
I'm actually a damn siao and crazy girl who can zi-high alots aheheheh :D
But i don't think ppl will really understand the reason of me zi-highing.
Will i be like them when i grow up? I think its kinda cool but...saddening in another way.
i don't think its worthwhile wasting much of my efforts, esp when they will go down in vain, at least for now.
Yeah i feel bad for thinking this way and bursting all of ur bubbles, most of u probably hate me now but, i felt much worse feeling outcasted. At least i don't feel that way when im with my cca or class =)
Really sorry. ahahas.
At least i made one close friend :D JOYANNNN FROM NANYANG GIRLS WAHAHHAA :D
she's really a damnnnn nice person i tell u, one of the nicest i've ever met :D
I LOVE U JOYAN :D
pictures perhaps :D?
Ah yes, the ASEAN people :D ATCSC WAHAHA.
We were screaming "CRIME" i think lols.
ELLO ELLO ELLO XDD AHSCHOIR WOOOTS. Not bad ah the editing o.o
Guess who is this guy XD???!!! HANDSOME RIGHT????!!
P.S when billow meets BILLOW, there soft by thy PILLOW :DDD
I know the choir now will definitely put in their utmost effort in singing the songs well liao WAHAHAHA XD
There's choir tmr. Wee.
Gonna meet my sister danica in tm for morning breakfast :D HIPHIP HOORAYS. long time never eat with her le lols.
cheers to homework ppl =(
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
{ 10:27 PM }
Ok, I'm damn traumatised by the ASEAN summit thingy.
REALLY REALLY TRAUMATISED.
I DONT WANT TO GO BACK AGAIN OMFG.
It's like, freaking stressful and pressurizing there u know?
Everyone is just SOOOO good till they actually INSPIRE you =.=
I'm serious, they are GOOD.
They dont even LOOK at their notes and read directly, they just use their damn cheem vocab and express their rather expressive views =.=
Ok, for example, "The delegate of India agrees with what the delegate of France has said, as india herself has experienced domestic success in using the policy and firmly believes that it can be applied to other ASEAN countries and that it will be beneficial."
JUST like, *click* and she said it like, so qing song zzz.
WTF IS THAT LA MY GOSH.
I tell you, unless you're REALLY good, or a haolian person or someone who is not vulnerable to these stuffs, DONT GO.
I'm not saying that its not good, its just TOO GOOD for me.
SO GOOD until I lose my confidence and morale. Right from the first day.
Serious, I REALLY REALLY REGRET JOINING IT. YOU'VE NO IDEA.
Its like, others were so good that if you dont talk, u can just go die.
WALAO LAHHHHH. I mean like, hello???
Suddenly, CHINESE BECAME MY FAVOURITE SUBJECT.
It's probably the ONLY thing anglican high students can OWN in.
im serious, chinese is our forte in that organization. I LOVE JIANG LAO SHI SIA.
And i'm forsaking choir for this thingy. That already turns me off.
And i dunno, not all of them very friendly leh. I think some of them think I'm too dumb to be bothered.
Ok la, i may not be as pro in debating or knowing abt asean la but,
at least im TRYING my best, better than not trying.
and somemore, [paiseh jojo copy u], I MAY NOT BE AS BOOK SMART AS U ALL ARE, but im definitely EVERY BIT AS STREET SMART AS U ALL, perhaps even MORE.
AHAHAHA XD yay. thats a good feeling lols.
and the other two secondary school teams, nanyang girls and raffles girls =.=
BU OWN WO CAI GUAI LA.
One debate team somemore. AHS dont even have one debate team lols. everytime only know how to use isaac.
sian. jus found out that OTHER PPL IN MY COUNCIL ARE DOING WORK PAPERS.
Don't ask me what is it. U'll know that i wont know.
THIS IS VERY VERY PRESSURIZING U KNOW.
are my holidays even holidays now? WTF?!
how u all be so enthu omgosh =.= now my mind is all about choir and ONLY choir.
and it will be about choir the whole entire day too tmr =.=
i seriously, DONT WAN CARE ABT THIS THING ANYMORE. SO STRESSFUL.
DEMORALISING. BLEAH.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
{ 11:34 PM }
Hais....
I love my friends. Alot. Especially my close ones...
But why are they drifting away from me? Ok, not all, but some...
It hurts soooooo much...
Mr.Toh once told me, sometimes if we feel too much for someone, we get hurt too easily.
Because love is sensitivity...
Ok I'm not referring to the lovey dovey ones, but love of friendship lols.
I don't think I'm like, a very important person in most people's lives,
but I think everyone plays an important role to me,
because if they didn't exist, many things would change...
You all must be thinking im crazy to think such stuff...
Hais....xin tong si le.
Seriously so xin tong and so hurt now...
I thought I was your closest friend ah...
You were so nice last time...what happened?
Hais. So much things to say. But so little words to express.
Just feel like finding my other good friend and pour out my woes. LOLS.
Another emo post so dont bother reading.
Why is that only CCA can make me feel happy?
And wtf sia tmr got ASEAN DELEGATE summit thingy at 7.30 am dunman high,
Umm, no offense but, hello ASEAN SUMMIT ORGANISATION, I DON'T THINK EVEN MINISTERS WILL MEET AT LIKE 7.30 AM?
WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? and we're not so lucky to have BUSES to ZAI us ok?
we go there by ourselves through taxi lor.
Honestly, i very sian of it. not interested. i tell u now, NOT INTERESTED.
but i'll still put in my best no matter how i hate this organisation. That's my principle.
The only good thing about it is to meet new people.
and that's my only hope. AHAHA.
My heart has a wound.
